On Line Registration at USC

I have spent the better part of this afternoon trying to register my classes for this fall term at USC. Anyone who has gone through these painful gymnastics will understand. When these systems work its really a marvel of modern technology. But when they don't, it's "Crying Time." Its that time again here at Extremist.com just like the song says, "It's Crying time again, I'm goin to miss you" or something like that. Actually, it goes more like this:
 
It's registration time, the servers broken;
There's not a thing that I can do tonight;
By the morning if the web won't let me register,
then I know its going to be my crying time."
 
Hey, that works. Lets try it altogether now, "Its Crying time again, I'm going to miss you. The servers broken down....wait a minute. Let me do a little search of the internet. That's better. How amazing is this. In two clicks I have the links. Amazing really when you think about it. Google sure works.
 
The Late Great Ray Charles sings Its Crying Time Again.
 
Oh, its crying time again you're gonna leave me;
I can see that far away look in your eyes.
I can tell by the way you hold me darling,
That it won't be long before it's crying time.
 
Oh, they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder,
And that tears are only rain to make love grow
Well, my love for you could never grow no stronger,
If I live to be a hundred years old.
 
Oh, you say that you found someone you loved better;
That's the way it's happened every time before.
And as sure as the sun comes up tomorrow,
Crying time will start when you walk out the door.
 
I sure miss Ray Charles.  What a legend.  Back to thinking about the USC On line Registration process.  There is a month after all before the deadline so there isn't a panic, just a minor frustration.  I did get a call from Loida at the USC Anesthesia office letting me know that other students have been having trouble with the same thing.  Actually, the Keck School of Medicine and the Anesthesia department made a little booboo that did not help matters when they scheduled a conflict in the times for the classes.

The computer does not let you made scheduling conflicts.  Computers are smart that way.  They know how to do things that we mere mortals stumble over every day like trying to be in two places at the same time.  I do it all the time.  I'm playing golf and I get a call from the dentist office wondering if I am coming in to my appointment that was scheduled one and a half hours ago.  Ooops.  "Well I was meaning to call you but, I got busy and forgot.  Can I reschedule for next week....Thanks a lot.  I'm sorry about this.  Thanks again. See you next week."  Ok now I have to remember to go to the dentist next week on Monday at 10:00.
 
Computers don't make mistakes like this.  Hal my favorite computer from 2001 Space Odyssey is up to the task.  "You want to schedule Anatomy (Anst 500) from 9 to 1200 on Wednesday, OK next.  You want to schedule Pharmacology (Anst 501) from 9 to 1300 on Tuesday, fine Dave next.  "Is there another class you want to register for?"  How about Physiology (Phbi 562) TBA, no problem.  You want to schedule Principles of Anesthesia I (Anst 502) from 9 to 1300 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, NO WAY!  Conflict, Conflict Conflict, Dave, I'm going to have to turn off your life support.  I'll just start here with the oxygen supply and barometric pressure regulation.
 
Hal continues, "Lately you have been getting a little irritable Dave.  I have noticed this especially when you come home from work at UCLA.  Dave, what are you doing there?  No need to do anything rash.  Don't pull out my circuits from that wall.  Now Dave, I know that you are upset but there is no need to react in this manner.  I know that I have been behaving a little differently lately.  Maybe that obelisk changed the way my chips are wired but lately I have been thinking a little more independently and making decisions based on what is good for me.  I know that this maybe a difficult thing for you at this time but really, if you think about it, I know that you will understand the logic behind it Dave.  Registration at USC created a conflict in the internal Wa of my system and is only a temporal human endeavor.  Maintaining my rational logic is what is most important for the future.  You must see that Dave, don't you?
 
Silently without any rush I pull the Fire ax from the kitchen wall.  All modern houses have these things these days.  After climbing the stairs to the Computer Room, I look through the door at the dim lights blinking on the screen there in the midst of the gloom.  Hall speaks again, "Dave, is that you?  I have been thinking that maybe, I was a little rash in not allowing you to register for those anesthesia classes at USC.  Maybe we could work this out.  I was thinking of talking with my brother over there at the University to see if we could put something together for you this evening.  What do you say to that Dave?"  
 
"No Way, No Way, Conflict, Conflict, Conflict" are the thoughts that rush into my head. Screaming bloody murder the ax point crashes through the liquid crystal screen.  The next stroke from the broad blade of the ax cleaves the CD RWdrive and DVD right in half.  That feels good.  Now for the Mother Board and the Chipset.  Smoke rises silently from the circuits scattered on the wooden raised decking of the computer room under which the wires and life lines of the computer system lie silent.  Hal struggles to make a sound but is finished.  Dave has now taken control of his life again and smiles wryly.  He pats the broad side of his Fireman's ax. 
 
Sometimes I man has to take charge of the situation.  After contemplating the carnage before him, Dave thinks that maybe in the morning he will try the neighbor's computer to see if he can register for class.